Tex Hambone, the multibillionaire oil tycoon, just married his fifth wife. She is young and beautiful, 50 years younger than his 80 years. Tex is madly in love with her. So madly in love, in fact, that he will leave her every penny when he dies.
Does it matter if she REALLY loves him or if she is just a fabulous actor waiting until he has a heart attack and keels over so she can rake in the billions? Given that the pleasure Tex enjoys is the same either way, is the happiness based on true love any better than one based on illusion? Is his happiness valuable even she hates his guts?
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It could be argued that the happiness he feels in the relationship is just the same for him either way, but much worse in the eyes of an objective viewer. If he truly is in COMPLETE ignorance of the situation, and truly believes that his wife loves him for more than just money and power, then it would not matter to him either way whether or not she was faking. However, to argue whether the happiness based on true love is better than happiness based on illusion, it must be determined if the love is being judged from an outside perspective, or from the perspective of Tex himself. When viewed from an outsider's point of view, in which it does seem rather likely (given the facts regarding age difference, wealth, etc.)that Tex's wife is using him for his inheritance. To us, this love would seem fake and altogether immoral. Even if we know that he is ignorant to the situation, and consequently in bliss, we also know that this is a false sense of bliss. Therefore, happiness based on an illusion of love is worse than happiness based on true love.
ReplyDeleteI kind of disagree. I think a useful analogy is a marriage in which the husband is being unfaithful, something which the wife later discovers. From the wife's perspective during the marriage, they have a happy and genuine relationship. While she learns later that this is false, nevertheless the time when she was ignorant was happy so I do think applying this to Tex (great name) as long as he thinks it is genuine, the happiness will be genuine
ReplyDeleteIf we say that Tex can't tell the difference between each love, then the only person losing in this scenario is an outsider looking in. Say Tex and his wife are actually madly in love with each other. Tex's friends and his wifes friends will know this. Perhaps the two groups will mix, socialize and learn to enjoy each others company, for they know this marriage will last as long as Tex's health is going to last. However, if Tex is the only one madly in love in this relationship, sooner or later someone is going to find out, whether it is one of tex's friends or one of his wife's friends. And then the entire relationship between the two social circles is going to go sour. The only relationship left will be Tex's and his wifes. Ulimately then, i think one of Tex's friends will tell him in the latter case, ruining the relationship, and ultimately showing that happiness based on true love is superior.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Julia in that the value of his happiness is based on perspective. For Tex, the relationship will feel the same to him regardless of the feelings of his wife. It would not be any different for him if her feelings were any different. He is happy in his ignorant state. However, to an outside observer, her feelings are important. People viewing this situation would be able to see through the shallow marriage and recognize her true motives. The marriage will have more value to observers if Tex's wife has strong feelings for him. In reality, there is no way that Tex is not aware of her motives. He is blissfully ignorant on purpose. Tex is only really concerned with his own happiness and as long as she plays along they will both get what they want. In addition, he has suffered through four bad relationships and at his advanced age he is looking for companionship. His new wife is probably nice to him so he doesn’t care whether or not his feelings are returned.
ReplyDeleteAccording to Tex, his love IS true happiness, at least until he finds out about his wife's true intentions. Assuming he never finds out, I'm with Mike. As long as he remains ignorant, there is no way to differentiate the happiness of this "fake" love to that of true love. If Tex is in fact madly in love with his wife, he would not suspect her to be in it for the money, and would therefor remain ignorant. If, however he does find out about his wife, it would not change the past, only the future. This new knowledge could not change the true happiness he had had in the past few years, but only his view on it. He may look back on it as false happiness, but at the time, it really was true happiness.
ReplyDeleteI do not think that is matters if she loves him or if she hates him if Tex feels like he is in a relationship that consists of true love. The argument to this is that he doesn't know the difference so why does it matter? If he had to choose one he would obviously pick the honest relationship because it has more substance. But, if he was not aware of the treachery then it wouldn't matter because his feelings of happiness are exactly the same.
ReplyDeleteI somewhat agree with Mike. Unless we assume that Tex will never find out, the possibility remains that he will come to the realization that she only wants his money. Should this happen, Tex will immediately realize what he believed to be happiness was nothing more than an illusion, and that for the past X years he has been living a lie. So obviously the illusion is bad. If we're going to assume he won't find out before he dies, I think it does matter because those around him may become aware, and if they try to tell him, he'll ignore or reject their words out of ignorance, and in that sense he'll be worse off.
ReplyDeleteignorance can only be bliss when it is forever.
ReplyDelete